Get Your Own Nuts!
by emiliexox
Summary: Harry and Draco finally get together in eighth year. But what the hell does a squirrel have to do with it? MAJOR SLASH & Very Fun!


**Hey Guys! Another Drarry one-shot from me. This is… a little different to stuff I have written before, and probably a lot different to other stuff you are most likely to read.**

**This story was an idea that me and my sister had and thought it would be really cool, and completely hilarious to write.**

**Warning in advance, this is basically porn with a plot. BoyxBoy (sort of, you'll see :D) SLASH. Don't like it don't read it. And very very cheeky.**

**I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it.**

**Enjoy**

**Xox**

_**Get Your Own Nuts!**_

Draco couldn't remember why he enjoyed the fresh air so much. Was it because for most of his childhood, his father had forced him to study and going to play outside was his only sanctuary? Or maybe it was because outside he could have some time to think about what he wanted out of life, or moreover _who _he wanted.

Draco had had a noticeably large attraction towards The Boy-Who-Lived since the middle of fifth year. As Potter went off on his amazing adventure to save the wizarding world at the beginning of seventh year, Draco could not help but feel a longing ache to join him, anything to be near the boy he longed for so much. But he knew that that was not an option, so he tried to help him the best way he could from the sidelines, for example, saying no when he was asked if Harry Potter was the boy that was in his house that time during the war.

It was "eighth" year now, or seventh year repeated for all of the students who missed out on graduating because of the disruptions the battle had caused. This year was different for Draco. He had no expectations, no reason to act like the Ice Prince of Slytherin and absolutely no reason to be a bitch to Potter and his friends. He actually owed the boy a lot, he did save his life. But Draco didn't want to do things for Potter because of a life debt, he wanted to just because he did.

And that's what made Draco realise that he has fallen in love with Harry Fucking Potter. The boy he had loved-to-loath for five years of his life, the Boy-Who-Just-Wouldn't-Fucking-Die. And Draco was so glad.

He lay back on the grass, looking up at the stunningly clear blue sky. After the war, it just felt as if a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. Now he could just be… whoever he wanted. He closed his eyes and basked in the glorious sunshine.

Harry didn't know who he was more pissed off at, the students running around the world to get a glimpse of the Saviour of the World, the students who constantly ask for his autograph, or the teachers for not doing anything about it.

God, he was so over it. He took off his coat as he walked out into the beautiful sunshine. It was nice to have some sunshine in a cloudy place like Hogwarts, Harry felt much relieved of his trouble as he walked over to a tree to sit down and collect his thoughts.

* * *

Harry always had good people around him to help protect him, people that he knew would not turn into babbling idiots and treat him differently for killing Voldemort. The one thing that Harry liked out of all of this was that the more his name was said after the war in a statement of victory, the less people seemed to flinch. Things and people were beginning to change at Hogwarts, even perhaps the whole wizarding world, and knowing that most of these changes were because of what him and his friends did, made him smile.

The one change that excited Harry the most was the change in the attitude and behaviour of Draco Malfoy. Maybe that Head Boy badge did some good for him after all. Harry had always secretly wanted Malfoy to get Head Boy, because he knew that he was perfect for the job. A Malfoy in a place of authority, Harry laughed thinking about another place they would be. He was glad to see that after all of the hate and suffering that Voldemort put on the world, that people like the Malfoys were able to come out of it stronger than ever.

Harry had always admired Malfoy, he knew he was strong, he knew he had the will power, but he was just too afraid to step out of line with his family. Harry sometimes envied him for having a family that cared about him so much, which had somehow turned into some sort of admiration. Harry had known he was into guys for a while, but the idea of being with Malfoy, no matter how good looking he was, never seemed to cross his mind. Until that day at the Manor. When Draco had lied to protect him. It was the most beautiful thing that anyone had ever done for him. Malfoy had every reason to just end it and say, "Yes, that boy there is Harry Potter." It would have caused him less suffering. But he still denied it, knowing the risk if anyone found out.

That admiration had soon developed into a little crush and now Harry spent most of his days, looking for that glorious blonde hair in the crowds of people, or sneaking a glance at him during meals in the great hall. He hadn't told his friends about his crush, he didn't think they would understand. Harry groaned in frustration and leaned back against the tree, only to hear a loud sigh coming from the other side. Harry turned around to see Draco Malfoy lying limbs spread, shirt unbuttoned on the grass, head to the side breathing heavily. Harry wanted to go over to him, touch him, tell him thank you… do _something_, but forgot his train of thought when Malfoy groaned sensually.

Harry didn't know what to do. Should he just sit here and watch? Or should he walk away? He decided to stay as a ginger squirrel caught his eye, climbing down the tree.

* * *

Harry watched the squirrel as it crept closer to the blonde, eyeing Harry every once every couple of steps. He really wanted to shoo it away, but something in his gut told him not to move.

The squirrel was level with Draco's face now, staring at it with its small beady eyes. Harry watched it shift slightly, and opened his mouth in shock, as the squirrel looked at him and slowly went down to nip Draco's ear.

Harry wanted to get up and smack that squirrel into next year, but stopped as he watched Draco tilt his head back a bit, gasping and biting his lip. It was the sexiest thing Harry had seen in his life. And it was getting induced by a fucking squirrel! Draco was still moaning softly and Harry shifted slightly to see the squirrel's small tongue flicking up and down the side of Draco's neck. Harry was in complete shock. What were the odds that he would walk out here, meet his crush, and then watch him get violated by a rodent. And on top of all of that...it was turning him on.

Harry sat back against the tree, the tent evident in his pants. He thought he saw the squirrel smile slightly, before it moved down and took one of Draco's nipples into its mouth. Harry's jaw dropped as he watched the squirrel bring one of its paws up to caress the skin of the blonde boy's chest, while working its tongue around the already hardening nipple. Draco arched his back slightly, sending chills down the raven haired boy's spine.

Was Harry's brain working right now? No, it wasn't. He had never been so turned on in his life. He barely noticed himself rubbing his crotch area through his pants. The squirrel looked up at him and Harry was certain they had locked eyes. The squirrel turned and made its way slowly down Draco torso, gliding one hand along Draco's abdomen as it did. It stopped at Draco's waist, going down and taking a whiff of it. Harry would have been slightly disturbed if he wasn't so aroused. The squirrel ran his paw along the zipper of Draco's pants, causing the blonde to fist some of the grass. The squirrel stopped and looked up at Harry.

* * *

Harry was completely lost. Did that rat want something from him? It seemed that the squirrel read Harry's thoughts as he lightly tugged on the zipper of Draco's pants. It this wasn't an invitation, he didn't know what was. Harry, very slowly, crawled up to the sleeping boy and carefully unzipped his pants. The squirrel licked Harry's hand to say thanks, before nodding back towards the tree to which Harry obediently sat back down against. Harry watched as the squirrel's eyes travelled from his face, down to his crotch, and stopped there. Oh god, now what did he do? Harry then did the only thing that would have seemed logical at that point in time. He grabbed his zipper, undoing his pants as well.

Harry swore the rat smiled before running its hands all over the bulge in Draco's green boxer shorts. Harry, being human and obviously the smarter of the two species there, had absolutely no idea what was going to happen next. He was beginning to sweat, really sweat, the weather and the situation, bringing him to such a deranged state that he just did not want to get out of. There was movement and he looked up… his eyes went wide.

Harry had to cover his mouth to stop himself from screaming out, when the squirrel lifted the waistband and ventured into the hidden cavern below. Harry bit his fingers. _Oh gods don't tell me it's going to- Oh my mother of fucking Hufflepuff! _Harry mentally screamed as the squirrel reappeared dragging with it, the head of Malfoy's large looking cock. He licked his lips as the squirrel moved its paw slowly up and down the small amount of shaft showing, causing Draco to curl his toes. Harry couldn't take it anymore. Harry pulled his boxers down slightly and started to slowly fist his own leaking cock.

Harry bit his lip, trying to stop himself from throwing his head back so he could watch the show in front of him. As Harry ran his thumb over the slit of his cock, the squirrel bend down, and stuck its face in Draco's. Both Harry and Draco moaned loudly, throwing their heads back and began to pant. Harry looked over at his crush, to see a thin layer of sweat forming on his brow, his breathing uneven and his pink lips parted slightly.

Harry had almost lost all of his self control. He just wanted to crawl over there, crack that squirrel's nuts and finish the job himself. He could have sworn if the squirrel's mouth was big enough; it would have deep throated him by now.

He had been so lost in thought; he hadn't noticed the squirrel's change in position, it now straddling Draco's thick length, grinding his body against it. Harry began to fist himself faster. This was wrong… so wrong. Harry knew the right thing to do. Draco was practically getting raped by an animal that Harry could kill in two seconds, and yet he just sat there.

The Slytherin was beginning to lose control now, Harry could tell. He was fisting both sides of the grass, thrashing his head from side to side. Harry was surprised he hadn't woken up yet.

"Hrr…Har," he could hear coming out of Draco's mouth. Who the fuck was Her Har? He was having too much fun to care. The erotic sounds that he was making, the way his body bent and flinched, was almost too much for Harry. He was fisting himself at an incredibly fast pace. But not fast enough to make him come. He wanted Draco to come first. The squirrel ran its tongue all the way around the head of Draco's cock three times before turning to look over at Harry. Harry stared for a moment, before he figured out what it wanted him to do.

Swallowing hard, Harry crept over to Draco once again, still holding his own cock. He bought his hand out towards the squirrel, gasping as it took one of his fingers into his mouth. God, its tongue was amazing; Harry looked down and stroked himself a bit faster, a throaty moan escaping his lips. He felt his finger being pulled towards Draco's cock, gasping as the squirrel helped him take hold of it. It felt so amazing in his hand. Harry ran his thumb over the head and Draco exposed his beautiful pale neck in response.

Harry bent down and kissed his neck, running his tongue along the side of his Adam's apple and as Draco groaned, it moved under his tongue sending Harry into euphoria. God, fuck you squirrel, get your own nuts… it's my turn now.

* * *

Draco woke to the feeling of lips of his neck, and a hand around his cock. By god, whoever this was was going to get the biggest kick up the ass in their life. Draco heard himself groan as the hand around his cock tightened. He didn't even know who this person was, why was he enjoying it so much? Draco tried to look down and see who it was, but was met by a mop of jet black hair. So dark hair… He turned his head as he let out a half-fake groan to see the person had glasses as well. Draco pushed his chest up to meet… another chest. It was a guy, thank fuck for that. So male, raven hair and glasses… raven hair and… hold on a second. Draco turned his head once more to see a lightning bolt scar on the boy's forehead.

_Sweet baby Slytherin, I've woken up in the middle of having sex with Harry Potter._

Draco wrapped his arms around Potter's back, before fisting his hair and bringing him into a passionate kiss. He could not believe his luck. Well Potter had totally taken advantage of him while he was asleep, but that could be discussed later. All he cared about at that moment was the feel of those soft lips moving against his own. Draco parted his lips, letting Potter dominate as he slipped his tongue into Draco's awaiting mouth, something he had been dreaming about for months.

Harry pulled back and looked in Draco's eyes, searching them, looking for a sign that he wanted this… that he wanted his as much as he did. Draco lifted his hand up to caress the side of Harry's face, before waving it in the air. All of sudden, Harry could feel himself butt naked.

Draco looked Harry over, trapping him underneath him. God, he needed to have this beautiful boy inside of him. I've waited far too long to turn back now. Draco straddled Harry, looking at him before licking three of his fingers. He could see Harry guess what was coming as he groaned in response, tightening his grip on the blonde's pale thighs.

He reached back, and pushed one finger inside of him. Harry moaned loudly and Draco bit his lip, pushing back on his own finger, trying to get used to the intrusion. A second finger shortly followed, after that a third. Draco was sweating now, bouncing slightly on his own fingers, Harry stroking his cock lightly. He moved his fingers to the side and brushed that amazing spot, causing him to scream and arch his back, loving the feel of Harry's nails running down his legs.

He pulled out of himself, giving Harry his digits to suck, using the other hand to guide himself onto Harry's dripping member.

Harry groaned as Draco slowly sat down on his cock. The warmth, the tightness, Harry thought he was going to come there and then. But he wanted to fuck Draco so bad, so he held on, running his tongue around the fingers in his mouth. Once Draco was full seated, he removed his fingers, putting both his hands flat on Harry's bare chest. He breathing was uneven and his bangs were hanging in front of his beautiful eyes. Harry was about to bring him down for a kiss, before Draco suddenly lifted himself up and slammed himself back onto Harry's cock.

Both boys screamed, cursing to the sky as Draco rode Harry at an incredibly fast pace moaning incoherent phrases filled with each other's names. Harry felt like he could have died there and then, and he could have been the happiest person to walk the earth. Being inside Draco felt so fucking good, he didn't want it to stop. Draco's panting was becoming uneven again and Harry could sense that he was close.

"Harry," Draco moaned, the first thing he had said to him. "Harry I'm…"

"I know me too…Dray…I'm gonna…" Harry screamed and arched his back, electricity shooting up his spine as he rode out his orgasm. Draco screamed out Harry's name as he came on his and Harry's chests.

Draco collapsed on him, both of their hearts racing. After collecting himself, Draco lifted his head and looked up at Harry, smiling.

"Hi," he breathed.

"Hey." They met each other in a slow sensual kiss.

* * *

The squirrel watched the two boys gently kiss each other in the afterglow of their first time together. Yes, he knew it was wrong. He was going to hold back, but it needed to be done. They were both rotting away without each other. He just hoped they would be happy together. The squirrel gathered his clothes, and soon stood up as a human being. He walked away from his best friend and ex-enemy, smiling as his red hair gleamed in the warm sunshine.

* * *

**Well there you go. I don't know what people are going to think of this. It was just a bit of fun. But I hope you liked it :D**

**PLEASE REVIEW! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT! I really, really want to know.  
**

**Thanks**

**Xox**

**emiliexox**


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